Celebrating The Apprentice

The award-winning TV series The Apprentice will be back on our screens on 3rd October. [If you haven’t the theme tune earworming its way into your brain, you’re clearly not a fan!] As our own apprentice, Rory, is an award winner too – he won Apprentice of the Year at the SME Hertfordshire Business Awards by the way, although we may have mentioned it before – we thought it’d be a fun idea to make a comparison of a Lord Sugar related apprenticeship versus a Cariad apprenticeship.

Differences

No high-pressure tasks with tight time limits that are designed to make you lose all common sense. If we need you to pop out for a pint of milk, we don’t expect you to make a four hour car journey to haggle over a 2p discount – we’d be happy for you to pop to the nearest shop and follow normal buying rules! Quicker and far more cost-efficient.

No need to come up with zinger one liners that’ll haunt you for the rest of your working life, such as:

• “I think outside the box. If I was an apple pie, the apples inside me would be oranges”;
• “I’m not a one-trick pony, I’m not a 10-trick pony. I’ve got a whole field of ponies waiting to literally run towards this job”;
• “I’m going to throw people under the bus, I’m going to throw people over the bus, I’m going to get on the bus”.

Possibly the only phrase that Rory will ever regret saying at Cariad is: “Yes, of course I’m willing to get my armpits waxed for charity …”

There’ll be no TV crew following you around with the intention of recording every mistake you make. We appreciate that everyone makes errors at some point, but rather than turn them into entertainment for millions of TV viewers, we see them more as important learning points that will enable us all to do better next time.

No free accommodation in a luxury London house. Sorry. But you do get a desk and an ergonomic chair.

You won’t have a chauffeur driven car to ferry you around, although there is usually someone willing to drive you to meetings. Not in a Rolls Royce though …

Lord Sugar’s apprentices don’t receive any training. They’re just thrown in at the deep end and have to work things out for themselves, with hilarious consequences of course. We, on the other hand, are much more supportive and will not make fools of ourselves (unless it’s in a good cause); we want everyone to learn from the experts, e.g. Google. And we’re always willing to support each other (not throw everyone under or even over the boardroom bus), and hold regular team training days.

There’s no need for anyone to drink tea in that infamous café of shame while everyone else is enjoying fabulous winners’ treats. Although the treats at Cariad can’t quite reach the same heights as private helicopter rides or meals cooked by famous chefs, everyone gets the chance to join in, because – cheesy cliché alert – we’re all winners!

The only Sugar allowed at Cariad‘s boardroom table is the type that sweetens your tea.

Ominous finger pointing is not allowed!

If you think the idea of working for Cariad is better than the thought of being on The Apprentice, check our vacancies page to see if we’re recruiting. Otherwise, send us your CV and let us know the type of work you’re interested in.